London Life: Tube etiquette

Friday, 11 July 2014

Living in London is stressful. Your entire day can literally be ruined by the clueless behaviour of just one person on your morning commute.
Tube rush hour

Here’s my guide to avoiding the wrath of a grumpy Londoner on the tube.
Top 5 don’ts:

  1. Lean on the pole – If giving someone the evil eye could kill then the tube floor would be lined with selfish travellers on my commute (Who says I’m not a morning person!!). To clarify, the pole was put there for 2 reasons; holding on to during the dreaded morning commute and dancing around on the drunken journey home again.
    A leaning post it is not.

  1. Kiss – MWAH! When you are stuffed into a sweaty tube, pushed up against a man’s armpit with another guy resting his arm on your shoulder the last thing you need is to hear the gross couple in the corner MWAH MWAH MWAH every 5 seconds. It sounds sloppy and gross, stop it before I puke!  

  1. Hold open the doors – I know lets run for the tube and hold open the door for all our family, friends, John from next door, and anyone else who fancies hopping on. Or we could leave the poor sweaty irritated commuters to go on their way without delays and wait 1 minute for the next train.

  1. Walk slowly – what’s the rush eh!? I’ll tell you what the rush is…..some idiot at Stockwell broke the doors by holding them open so now we are late for work and having to contend with Mr and Mrs shuffle along!

  1. Stand on the left – I know you’ve come to visit London Town and you are excited so you want to stand next to your friend and have a chat about all the great things you have planned but this is just as easily done when you STAND ON THE RIGHT.

Avoiding these mistakes will stop you getting shouted at and will ensure that we, grumpy Londoners, can carry on being moody, with our faces stuck in a Metro and avoiding all conversation or eye contact.

Welcome to London!

Check out Part One in my "London Life" series here: London House Shares

Little London Girl x


  1. This is hilarious and so true! There have been many tuts for people that have done these things, especially when someone just stops in the middle of the platform - I've never wanted to kill someone more when that they do that.

    Great post :)

    Aimey xo

    1. Thanks so much! My little bro is the worst for doing that!! x

  2. Have I ever been able to relate to a post more? Possibly not! Love this so much :)

  3. Oh my goodness yes! People leaning on the pole - really, really no need! My other pet hate has to be sunglasses on the tube. I could go on!

    Beccy ~ Bluebell & Bumpkin

    1. haha someone told me today they wear there sunglasses on the tube so they won't be recognised on CCTV, odd thing to say!

  4. Spot on! Re items 4 and 5 - I often overhear dawdlers and left standers making comments about commuters trying to get somewhere, saying things like "what's the rush, there's another one in 2 minutes". That's as may be, but tubes often lead to mainlines for us commuters, and, sometimes, there isn't another of those for up to an hour! So, GET OUT OF THE WAY!

  5. Being from London I can relate to this post so much, it's all so true and number 3 especially drives me mad, I also can't stand when someone thinks it's a great idea to try and squeeze into the smallest space rather than just waiting for the next tube.

    Belle x Part of Belle's world

    1. Drives me mad!! I think I could easily write another post with another 5 things to not do on the tube! x

  6. I relate to this so much! Amen to it all! Great post :)

  7. So true! ... and this is why I'm lucky I can bike to work. :)


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